Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
