i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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