yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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