Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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