you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
