I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
