Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
