oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
