I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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