I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
