we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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