his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I came so hard my ears popped.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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