my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
