oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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