i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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