I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
