Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Randomize
