please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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