Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Randomize
