So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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