Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
