I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i think i have herpe
just one?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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