is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
