Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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