That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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