Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
