I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
