Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
