so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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