The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
