Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
