You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
