I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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