You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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