Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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