That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
