so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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