I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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