I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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