Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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