Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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