He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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