I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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