The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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