At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
