Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
