Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize