i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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