I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
