Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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