My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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