I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
