brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
