There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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