It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
