I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
