I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
this will be a night to untag.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
