how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
