I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
