thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
