My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
this hospital has no fireball
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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